Emily was here.: October 2009

I listen to Vampire Weekend a lot. For some reason they pick me up, or at least lighten my mood ever so slightly, that I keep going back to them over and over.

This weekend was tough. I know I'm being hormotional, but just because you know WHY you're getting upset and being so sensitive doesn't make it any better. I just feel alone and the people I do have around me I'm not feeling that "comfort" I need with. I'm not going to get into it right this second because I am feeling a little at ease so why stir up the emotions I've stifled all day just to explain them in a blog.

I got an A on the exam I took last Friday. I studied my ass off so I'm proud and relieved. I also went to a 'dual-degree' info session on Friday and decided I'm not ready for my Master's. I know I will want it eventually and since they're ushering in a doctorate requirement for nurse practitioners I thought maybe I should get it sooner than later but what skill am I mastering when I haven't even established any skills yet? It just seems a little early, so I'm relieved to have that out of the back of my mind so now I can focus on the present task at hand... which is an incredibly daunting task if I must say so. I'm so happy I'm enjoying the curriculum. SO happy about that...

This blog entry is feeling a little incoherent and definitely not grammatically correct, and even though I'm aware of the flaws, I'm embracing them tonight.

I got a haircut, a much needed haircut, and it's cute.

I want new glasses. I think I'm going to ask for new ones for Christmas. These people here are just so hipster and cute I can't keep up! I think some new spectacles will help though.

I want to be in love so badly it actually hurts a little. That's a bit of an exaggeration but it feels like that sometimes. Okay, so maybe I sway a little to the bitter side of the world naturally but lately it's a little ridiculous how angry I get when I see happy couples on Sunday mornings walking their cute dogs. It's an envy that feels uncomfortable and I wish it would go away. All it takes is someone telling me their relationship "drama" for me to remember that I don't have time or energy to put into another person right now. It just takes one sobbing roommate, one overheard fight walking down the street, one reality show, to remind me that I'm not really missing out all that much. Or so I will keep telling myself.

Oh I don't think I mentioned on here that I got a roommate! Her name is Eden and she was a complete surprise. So far she's been a pretty good addition to the house. She's very busy and appreciates silence. She's equally as messy as I am and goes to bed/wakes up roughly at the same time. What more could I ask for?

She likes to close my door and leave the window open. I don't like this so I open or close them respectively when she's not home. So far it's fine. Ugh, I can't wait to be a grown up.

I want an apartment of my own with my own furniture and my eclectic, somewhat country kitschy clutter everywhere, a space that is my very own. I'll have my Sass and it will be home. I can't wait to grow up. I've always wanted to and it seems like I'm the only that hasn't.

That's not true but seriously, could any more people get married/have babies that are my age or even younger? Grrr.

I'm totally ageist.

I'm also totally procrastinating. Off to study for another exam. Jealous?

I just spent 8 hours in the library studying. I'm making macaroni and cheese for dinner, and then I will resume my studying. I can't say it's a depressing life because this is what I've been waiting for, begging for, and now paying for but I will say it's not the funnest thing I've ever done.

I have a crush on a guy who works at a coffee shop. I love silly random insignificant crushes. Anything more at this point would be overwhelming and exhausting but that's not to say a real love interest wouldn't be nice. Timing is everything, and right now is not the time.

Yesterday I went on a limo scavenger hunt for a friend's birthday. A fleet of limousines leave all at once and it's a race to get all the things done before the 3 hour mark. We dressed in 80's fitness gear and it was a lot of fun. It kind of shot my braincells for a good part of the day but it was worth it.